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What is the most popular carol in the Desert?
Camel ye Faithful.

What do Christmas trees freshen their breath with?

Orna-mints. Ha Ha

What do you get when you cross a pig and Christmas tree lights? A piglet!

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes “ribbet ribbet?” A mistle-toad.


What’s the best present to receive? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it. 


How does a sheep greet you for Christmas? Fleece Navidad

How does Christmas Day end? With the letter “Y.”


Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? Because it would say, “Baaa humbug!”


What falls in the winter but never gets hurt? Snow.

How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed

What do fish sing at Christmas time? Christmas Corals!


Why don't Martians Celebrate Christmas?

They don't want to give away their presence.

Why should you not eat Christmas decorations?

To avoid tinselitus.

What happens when you steal a Christmas Calendar?

You get 12 Months.

What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson


Which U.S. state is Santa’s favorite? Idaho-ho-ho!


What is Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap.

What do you call Santa before Payday? Saint Nick-less.


Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Beyon-sleigh.


What do you get if you cross Saint Nick with a detective? Santa Clues!


What does Santa clean his sleigh with? Santa-tizer.


What did Mrs. Claus say when Santa asked about the weather. “It looks like rain, dear.”

How does Santa measure his bag? In Santa-meters.


What’s Santa’s nationality? North Pole-ish.

Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone


What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight? One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh

Why do Elf's make cool gifts? To lift their “elf” esteem.

What do you call a frozen elf? An elfcicle!


What would you find on an elf’s Instagram account? Lots of elf-ies.

What is an elf’s favorite candy?


What sport do Christmas elves compete in? North Pole-vaulting

What did the elf get when he crossed a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells

What kind of car does an elf drive? A toy-ota

How did the elf give her final project at school? With a present-ation


What song did the elf’s teammates sing as he rounded third base in the annual holiday baseball game? Please Come Home for Christmas


Differentiate between the Christmas alphabet and ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
Hits a gnome and runs


What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus


What do Santa's Elfs eat on Break?

Elf-abet soup.


What falls but doesn't need a parachute?



What is Santa's favorite cereal?      Ice Krispies.


What do you call a snowman in the spring?



What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell Carrots?


Why don't Gingerbread men sleep well?

Cause they sleep on cookie sheets.


What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn't prepare his test on the Revolutionary war? You'll go down in history.

Why do Snow-globes get nervous?

They are all shaken up.

Where does Santa stay on vacation?

A Ho-Ho-Tel.

How can you tell if Santa's near? You can sense his presents.


How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing! It was on the house!


What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. They can’t hear you!


What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?


What did Adam say to his wife on Christmas?
It’s finally Christmas, Eve!


Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas?
Because they’re shell-fish.


What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night


What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause


What do you call a cat on the beach on Christmas Day?
Sandy claws


Why do Christmas trees like the past so much?
Because the present’s beneath them


Where does mistletoe go to get famous?


Why does Santa always enter through the chimney?
Because it soots him


What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?
A pineapple!


What do hip-hop artists do on Christmas?


What do you call a frog hanging from the  ceiling?



What's a snowman's favorite Mexican food?


Whose Christmas parties are full of screams?


What do hungry snowmen put on their grill?



A boss bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.


How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.

Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank


Elves use what kind of money?
Jingle bills!


What would you call the twelfth elf that comes to help the other 11 elves?
The twelf


What would you call an elf who just won the lottery?

Where would a reindeer go to find her lost tail?
"Re-tail" store

What could be a perfect gift for a train station master during Christmas?
Platform Shoes.

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.


What’s a good Christmas tip?
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have  gone for the winter.


What a candle says on Christmas Eve?
Lets go out after dinner tonig

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